A story of metta meditation and a gift from my sister.

By Rachel Nusbaum

It was about a week before Christmas and I was thrilled to be back in my own space. My family had been living in the basement of our incredibly generous friends’ house for ten weeks while our kitchen was remodeled. (Yes, we are still good friends!). My excitement was tempered a bit by the collision of the holidays and moving back home. Being Interfaith we celebrate Chanukah and Christmas, which can be simultaneously really fun and really tiring. Chanukah was starting like, immediately, and we still didn’t have silverware unpacked. How was I going to find the menorah?

But I did have my trusty meditation tools: a candle and my phone. I sat on the carpeted floor of my office as I pressed play on the guided meditation for the day. It was one by davidji, who is known as the Velvet Voice of Stillness. He did not disappoint! His silky voice had me completely focused on the metta lovingkindness meditation we were doing. We were breathing in love and sending out love to family, friends, all beings on earth and beyond. He spoke of the multiplying power of love, that by sharing this one breath the effects of abundance come back around to you tenfold, thousands of times over.

At the end of the practice he asked us to do something tangible to share that love and gratitude, which was to send this text to someone you know who is struggling:

Thinking of you and sending love.

I finished the meditation and, still on the floor, opened my messages app and texted a friend who had her life upended in 2021. Then I turned to a bag my sister had handed over two weeks earlier. It was one of many bags and boxes in my office that needed to be unpacked. I had been avoiding this one in particular because she was giving me some of our mom’s cherished Christmas decor. Since my mom died, I have to be in the right frame of mind to go through her belongings. But now, since my heart had grown (like the grinch!) and was bursting with goodness from the meditation, I felt safe to dig into this bag of treasures.

I pulled out a little ceramic scene of carolers and a white evergreen tree. A figurine set of Snoopy and his pals decorating the tree. Some ornaments, including a Strawberry Shortcake one, that were given to me by my parents over four decades ago. Then, at the bottom of this enormous bag, I saw a shoe box with a sticky note on it that said: an early Christmas present for you, written in my sister’s scrawl.

For me? While my love language is Acts of Service, who doesn’t love a gift? I often dream about a world where women receive a present every day as the sun goes down, because for heaven’s sake, we deserve it. I was filled with pure delight to see a surprise, just-had-to-get-it-for-you gift for me.

I pulled off the lid and was met with a pair of wedge, suede brown, ankle boots. “Oooh!” I said out loud to no one. I kicked off my ratty slippers and slid my feet into my new boots. They fit perfectly.

I was still on the floor, now surrounded by my friends Snoopy and the others, wearing my pajamas, fleece robe and cute boots, when it hit me. I sent love out to the world and the world gave me a real, live gift in return?!? Could it be that simple? Davidji thinks so, so why can’t I?

Here’s the link to the Insight Timer meditation I’m referring to by davidji. I’m a paid subscriber, so I’m not sure if it’s free. If you enjoy my writing and want to get it delivered straight to your inbox, sign up here. 💌 You’ll get my Self Care welcome series for free when you sign up.