Perseverance to help you overcome obstacles when things feel like they can’t get worse.

Over the summer my sister and I took our mom away for the weekend to a quaint little spot on the Chesapeake Bay in Virginia. It was time for us to focus only on Mom instead of being pulled in a million directions, like we typically are back home. We often joke that when my sister and I are out with our four kids (total) and our mom with advanced dementia, it’s like the circus has come to town. This weekend allowed us to dote on her, take her out to eat, shop, get her nails done and relax in a beautiful setting. We had a couple of bumps, but we befriended the generous man who drove the golf cart around the property and he kindly gave us rides when stairs or dizziness showed up.

Danielle and I were pretty exhausted when we got back home and brought mom to the assisted living facility. We were eager to get back to our husbands and kids; caregiving is tiring on the best days and drains the life out of you on the worst. We got Mom to her room and settled. As we were getting ready to leave something caught our eye on her bed. A couple of specks of what was maybe dirt? Chocolate? No. Mouse droppings.

Listen, we know how horrifying this sounds. On many levels. We were upset and contacted the director immediately, but I’m not telling you this story to throw anybody under the bus. I am telling you this story to illustrate that when life throws you lemons, you might also get a mouse.

For weeks this mouse plagued us. There was one occasion, where I was alone in my mom’s room and the dang thing actually ran across the carpet in front of me! My heart skipped a few beats, I flew out the door and I started sweating profusely. Then I calmly walked downstairs and tried my best not to let my terror show so my kids wouldn’t know what was going on. Because dealing with kids freaking out about a mouse was more than I could handle in that moment.

Finally, the mouse situation got resolved. The lesson it left us with is that when things seems really hard, when you are going through the fire, you are not immune to new problems. I have said many times in the past two years that I can’t possibly handle anything else. And then I do.

I tell you the mouse story to inject some levity into this, because, let’s be honest, a mouse in the house is really not among the top ten bad things that can happen to a person. The mouse illustrates the point well because it’s when we feel completely at the end of our rope that we are often asked to dig deeper and give more.

For me, this story is about perseverance. It’s about going way beyond the comfort zone of my everyday life. It’s about doing the thing that I absolutely least want to do in the moment. (Because of course I had to buck up and deal with the situation that day when I saw the mouse, y’all.) I have said, “It can’t get any harder.” “We can’t possibly deal with anything else.” And we do. Every time.

Part of what is most terrifying to me is not knowing how long caregiving will be a part of my daily life. When I scan way out and look at the big picture view, this is what I want for myself; I want taking care of my mom when she needs it most to be part of what I did on this earth. I want to remember that I showed up for her. I didn’t take the easy way out. I didn’t back down or shy away. I walked straight through the fire.

So, perseverance is how I am going to keep going.