The past week has been re-learning about rejection and resilience. If you follow me on Instagram, you've had a seat in the front row. It felt at the same time important and insignificant, new and old. I suppose that's how lessons begin to feel when they keep popping up in your life. This re-learning felt important enough to share with you, so I'm taking a bit of a meander from our summer series to share this with you. 

Halfway through 2018, I've sent out 11 pitches. This includes pitches to be a guest on a podcast, to host a workshop, to submit my personal essays or a guest blog, to speak in front of an audience. Out of these, I've had success with five, so a little less than 50%. This is the first time I'm looking at these numbers and that's better odds than I realized. But still six rejections, six no's, six opportunities for me to question what I'm doing, to doubt myself, to wonder who the hell I think I am trying to make it as a writer and business owner.

Last week I decided to work on an essay that had previously been rejected from a print publication. I felt so much resistance simply opening up the document to take a look and see how it could be improved. I distracted myself with email, coffee, calendar, weather and Facebook before I forced myself to sit in the chair and read the darn thing. Maybe it wasn't as spectacular as I recalled but it still rung true. Oh, and also, I had written it in2016. Two years ago and this great piece of my heart was idly sitting here on my laptop. 

It was the date that fueled me - I made a promise to myself to send out another pitch within two days. Then, I closed my laptop and spent the summer day with my kids. 

The next time I checked my email guess what I found? Another rejection. This time for a speaking engagement. I realized I had been holding my breath to some degree waiting for this response. It was a no, but at least I could breathe. Maybe it was the conversation I had with myself the day before - I was able to feel the no for a quick minute and then move on. Gotta get that next pitch out, I told myself. It's all part of the process. 

There are a lot of stories of rejection out there. Harry Potter got rejected 12 times for goodness sake. Sometimes those stories bolster me, other times not. I'm finding that the process, living through it, is my best teacher of rejection and resilience. The more I put myself out there, the more I get rejected. The more I get rejected, the more resilience I build. I can write this to you. I can teach this to you. In order for you to learn it and re-learn it, you may need to go through it yourself. 

Friday morning, the morning of my 39th birthday, I submitted another pitch. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I do know that simply trying again has a power all it's own.

If you have told yourself it's time to try something new but fear has been holding you back, I hope you find some encouragement here. If you need a little more, hit reply and I'll gladly cheerlead for you.