Don't Let the Bullies Get You Down

Recently I walked into the dining room of the assisted living facility where my mom lives. As I made my way to her corner table a woman stopped me. She stood up and blocked my path in fact. I knew she was also a resident, I'd waved hello to her on occasion, but we had not had a prior conversation. She was wearing a turquoise cardigan, sporting the same short, blond cut as 75% of the female residents, and she was sitting at the cool kids table. "Your mother keeps going outside by herself," she states, clearly agitated, with a razor sharpness to her voice. "You need to get her to stop doing that." 

Woah. It was as if this woman had been waiting for me, almost like she knew I would be there that day, so she rehearsed all morning what she would say. She was a cheetah ready to pounce on her prey, an unsuspecting daughter stopping in for a chat. 

I knew immediately that this was the woman I had been told was chasing my mom outside all week and telling her that she didn't belong out there. There's a beautiful outdoor space behind the building; one of the main reasons we chose this particular place. One of the only things that continues to bring my mom joy is being outside and looking at the flowers and birds. 

If only I had been practicing my comeback, I'm sure I would've had a good one ready to fire away, but instead I smiled and said that while I'm sure she was simply looking out for my mom's safety would she please stop telling my mother what she can and can't do. Then I walked past her and over to sit with my mom.

So here it is, proof that even in the old people's home, bullies and naysayers continue to exist. They don't magically transform into kind elderly people. I think it's kind of freeing in a way. If there will always be people who don't believe in your dream, people who think you can't do it, people to hold you back in some way, why not do it anyway?

Imagine yourself there, inside of this dining room I told you about. Would you rather be the person who never opens the door to go outside because it's not easy for you and what if someone has an opinion about it? Or are you the person who chooses to go outside to see the blooming hydrangea and lilies in June simply because it makes you happy, even if people are whispering about you doing it?

Often we hold ourselves back from pursuing something we want to do because of other people. Maybe a family member won't approve or a high school friend will see it on Facebook. We could hide from these people (and we would have to do it for the rest of our lives, apparently) or we could simply do it anyway.  

What would you do with your life if there was no old-lady-bully to stop you?